I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
