Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
