Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
