he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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