You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
