I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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