singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
