I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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