Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
