I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and she was petting her beer can
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
