Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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