billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
