I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
