maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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