What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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