New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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