They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
