I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
