Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
