Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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