i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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