im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was like eating out sand paper
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize