that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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