capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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