I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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