hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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