You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
