Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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