is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
