I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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