i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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