therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
farters have to be the big spoon...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
