remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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