You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
they're like a gay fantastic four
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
