I'm lost and stupid without you.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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