I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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