I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize