i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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