During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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