Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
