I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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