I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
