lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
