i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
we're so committed to being not committed
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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