You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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