worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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