Whod you bang
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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