"it" just moved
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
