Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize