Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
