He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
