u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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