worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
