Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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