Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
