Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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