Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
