That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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