This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize