i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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