Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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