I puked a lego.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
