Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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