i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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